It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice
A post to reflect and simply make you smile this Monday to kick off the week.
By now, you have probably noticed that most of my reflections come from personal experiences, otherwise, how can you teach others how to do something if you haven't gone through it first?
Remember the famous saying:
"It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice"
One of my flaws and I am quite happy to admit it, is that I'm wayyyyyyy too nice sometimes and people take advantage of that. But as a great friend once said to me 'I rather you be nice and get screwed over a couple more times, than turning into something you are not'
So today we reflect on this.
Do you believe in Karma? Do you believe in doing things for others without expecting anything in return? Unless you have agreed upon a "return favor" or "a specific compensation" in advance, if you do something for someone, do it because you want to, not because you know you will hold it against someone in the future.
How many of you have got people in your life who say 'Don't you remember when I did this for you?', 'You forget I did this...', 'You forget I did that..', 'Remember my generosity when...'
Sound familiar?... I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have done things for people without expecting anything in return simply because I believe in Karma. I was having drinks with a friend of mine when I said I was gonna help out with something, and once again, the first reaction was .. 'what do you want in return?'...
In this instance, my answer was... 'Nothing'
I am a believer in Karma, something that I have learned to believe in as I didn't always have those beliefs.
Life is too short to keep count of what you do for people. Living life is about leaving a legacy for future generations to model on and get inspired by. With a few books under my wing (the first one 'Creating a Kick-Ass Attitude' for those who didn't know), I intend to write a few more before I expire to leave a meaningful and impactful legacy, and if there is one thing that I want to portray throughout the motivational ones is the belief in Karma and remembering that the Universe has weird ways of paying you back.
All bad experiences, the let downs, the falls, and hurdles we go through, are just life learning experiences that have gotten us where we are today and if you cannot learn to let go, you will live quite a miserable life.
As many of you know, I have dealt with my fair share of bullying in life and it took me a while to learn to let go as I kept thinking 'I was nice to this person, I did this, I did that...why are they doing this, blah blah blah...' so even I fell for the whole 'don't they remember I did this..' thinking.
Some individuals out there will take advantage of you wanting to help, others only do good deeds to hold it over people, and others will always expect something in return. That is ok too, as that is their choice.
Then you come across those people who try to twist everything you say. You have come across those right?! ... I remember reading a business book where the author says 'eye for an eye' ... but he was referring to business! not personal vendettas... and I agree on that 100%. Screw me over in business and it will be an eye for an eye, but never on a personal level.
Think for a moment and write down 3 things you have done for people whom you did not expect anything in return.
Done?.. Now think about how that made you feel. Did it make you smile? Why did you do it? and feel free to message me and share one of them or your stories as I love hearing them.
Now let me take you through some history for a second... Did you know that the word 'nice' 500 years ago when it was first used in English, it meant 'foolish or stupid'? it originally came from the Latin 'nescius' meaning 'ignorant'... but then by the 16th century, the sense of being 'very particular or 'finicky' had developed.. then in the 19th century, the word nice came to mean 'pleasant or agreeable' and then 'respectable', a sense quite unlike its original meaning..
So after those facts, it is not surprising to have those feelings of... 'I feel stupid for being so nice'
And why am I talking about all of this? Because I can! and I wanted to... haha... sometimes you just feel like writing about a subject or matter but people never share it.
So.. being nice... do you agree or disagree? Do you do things in life without expecting things in return? or do you always expect something back?
Although we have to concentrate and focus on our goals and in life not much is free, remember we all started with nothing... we came to this world with nothing.. and we will leave this world with nothing... so do meaningful things, be nice to others, use some of your resources to build profitable and educational tools that you can pass onto others, and foremost don't be one of those people who uses the 'remember when I did this for you?' sentence unless you agreed on a return deal first.
Of course, this does not mean being a pushover or letting others walk all over you. Both in business and life, we need to assess when to put on our "nice" hat as sometimes that is not an option.
Remember... BE YOU... BE YOUR OWN PERSON.. and don't let anyone put you off from doing what you love doing.
Follow your passion and get screwed over once in a while, as it is worth it in the end.
Keep on believing, keep on smiling.
Author, Advisor, Storyteller
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